I hit thirty seven weeks on Thursday and am almost done with my pregnancy ! This is insane and one of the most surreal life experiences. Ted and I keeping saying that we know we have a baby coming, but, being first timers, we cannot fully fathom how much things are going to change. And we’re bracing for it. It’s what we’ve wanted and worked for, but its still going to be a huge life adjustment

I’ve been reflecting a lot on my pregnancy so far and keep getting asked a lot of the same questions about how things are going. So I’ve compiled the most common ones here to both share, and also serve as a reminder for me someday when I want to look back and reminisce.

How did you find out ?

With IVF it’s a little different since, the surprise and romance element are 100% gone. But I still did get to take a pregnancy test like a normal person after my embryo transfer. I was due for a blood test 10 days post transfer but took a test the night before.

I was sure it didn’t work because I felt no different. Ted was making dinner and I quietly went into the bathroom, took the test and then left if on the counter. We both went to go check on it after I laid on my kitchen floor for a bit having a mini mental breakdown.

To my absolute shock there were two very strong lines. Never in my life had I ever seen two lines and I literally fell to my knees in thanks and disbelief. Cried a bit, looked at Ted and kept saying “TWO LINES!” He calmly went and finished his dinner because that’s how Ted is in moments like these, while I happily sat on the bathroom floor grinning and staring at the test.

How did you tell Ted ?

See above.

Did you experience any symptoms before you knew you were pregnant ?

Nope. Not one bit. Thought my period was coming, but shortly after finding out I did start getting really really thirsty and hungry.

What were your cravings?

Fresh fruit, McDonalds Chicken Nuggets  with barbeque sauce, and every carbohydrate under the sun. Pasta, pizza, bread I ate it all. My doctor told me this was the body’s way of getting quick energy so I guess it makes sense?

How did you get through the first trimester?

Sleeping. Having no other children I was able to get through the work day and then spend my evenings and weekends napping as much as I needed. I don’t know how women with kids  cope since the fatigue for me was so crazy. I also got the flu around 9 weeks which was a bit scary, but luckily I recovered pretty quick with the help of some Tamiflu. This was just before Covid really hit and I’m so glad I got sick before, because I would have been really freaked out it was covid.

Overall, the anxiety of miscarriage for me was worse than any physical first trimester symptom. And that I think is directly tied to my infertility experience – you get robbed of some of the joy because you know exactly how many things can go wrong. So its a little harder and the stakes are high. You know if things go wrong, you have to go back to treatment, and that’s a lot to handle mentally. I wrote a blurb on this here, but essentially there were moments I had to take things not day by day, but hour by hour. Setting mini goals and checkpoints for myself between my appointments helped me get through and live with the unknown.

When did you start showing ?

The pregnancy bloat is real in the first and early second trimesters. It does give you a faux bump, but its not truly a baby bump, just bloat. I started showing at around 16 weeks and by 20 had an official bump.

How was Winston during the pregnancy ?

At first he was no different, but as my bump started to grow he became my shadow. He was always more on the clingy side but there’s an absolute increase now. He follows me everywhere and likes to sit right at my feet. It’s the sweetest. 

Did you guys do any genetic testing?

We did. We did a blood test called the NIPT test at 12 weeks where you can find out the gender and where they look for the most common chromosomal abnormalities. Its extra and not often covered by insurance, but for us it was worth it and it helped give me some peace of mind.

Did you do a gender reveal?

So I had to know what we were having and had the doctor tell me over the phone right away. I could not wait. No way. I remember I was at work when he called, and started crying when I learned it was a boy becuase it made everything seem very real. I just sat in an empty office hoping my coworkers didn’t see me crying tears of relief and happiness.

I told Ted that night with a small card and filmed his reaction. It was very sweet.

We wanted to surprise our parents and family. I knew I wasn’t going to share the pregnancy till we were much further along, so we just had my parents, sister, Babcia, and Ted’s parents over. We did a small cake and had my sister who is the youngest in our whole family, and my Babcia who is the oldest in our family cut the cake together. I like the symbolism behind it, and once they saw the blue filling everyone started yelling and celebrating.

What is it like being pregnant in a pandemic?

I don’t know what its like to be pregnant in the normal world, but being home all the time, only going to doctor appointments, and trying to celebrate and make plans for a baby in lock down I’d say is a weird experience. We’re lucky that both Ted and I can work from home so we do feel safe. But since my path to pregnancy was non-traditional, I was hoping I could have a normal pregnancy (have a shower, go to baby classes, etc). But it seems the path for this baby will be a unique one and that’s okay. So long as we stay healthy and so long as Ted gets to be at the birth (so far yes according to the hospital rules), that’s all I care about.

Pregnancy Pet Peeves

• Having to pee 4 to 5 times every. single. night
• Heartburn
• Constipation
• Shortness of breath
• Not being able to sleep or get comfortable
• Not being able to drink coffee (I personally chose to abstain my entire pregnancy, but you can technically have a cup)
• Not being able to have over easy eggs
• People telling you how easy their pregnancy experience was if you bring up or complain about a symptom. Just because you didn’t have a symptom doesn’t mean that’s the case for everybody ! And for a lot of women it’s not easy!

First things you want to do after delivery

Once baby is settled and I figure out a routine I am dying to go get a facial, massage, haircut, and just pamper myself. I abstained from everything, and probably will still have to with covid – but that would be my ideal.

Favorite moments:

Some of my favorite memories of this time are:

• our gender reveal to our parents, my Babcia and sisters
• taking a few days off with Ted to paint and prep the nursery together
• putting our bassinet together and walking by the room and seeing something for our baby in it for the first time.
• our maternity photo shoot
• being helped by Ted in the moments when it was hard for me to move – he was so sweet!
• my surprise baby shower from my co-workers
• connecting with other mamas

Favorite maternity clothes?

Because of quarantine, by the time I really needed to wear maternity clothes I was already working from home. So I can honestly say I have not worn jeans of any kind since February. Yep. It’s been sweatpants, leggings, and dresses for me this whole time.

I also didn’t have to buy a lot of clothes since I’m home but did pick up a few essentials from Target which I’ve liked. I buy from the Ingrid & Isabel line and just got a few tanks, tops, and two bodycon dresses.

• My favorite pants were these from Target – I bought all three colors.
• My favorite leggings were these from Gap – so comfy!!!!!!!

Favorite baby book ?

I loved “Bringing Up Bébé” by Pamela Druckeman. It’s hilarious, I could relate to it as an anxious American myself and found the tips very honest.

How are you getting through the third trimester?

It’s funny no one really asks about how the second trimester goes because it really is the honeymoon period of pregnancy. I felt great and I would have told you then that I could be pregnant forever. Now that I’m almost done with the third trimester, oh my what a difference. My friend and I have a joke that this is the trimester where all the drama starts to happen, and its true.

Sometime around 30 weeks things just got hard and very uncomfortable. The difficulty sleeping, heartburn, shortness of breath, and just overall soreness really do make you feel almost elderly! Albeit you are very cute and round it is just incredibly difficult to move! At least this is the case for me because with the way I’m carrying I’m “all belly” as people say. It’s just a lot of weight for my body to hold out front.

I just experienced a small hiccup and was recently admitted for a bladder infection didn’t know I had. I was asymptomatic until I developed severe pelvic pain and a fever. I’m pretty sure I’d been sick for a while because what I thought was just worsening third trimester pregnancy pain, was actually the increasing infection. I was admitted for two days in L&D for some IV antibiotics. I’m so glad I trusted my gut and made sure to get help when something didn’t feel right. The hospital treated me amazingly. Even so, this is the largest hiccup of my pregnancy thus far and I am extremely grateful that it was treatable and things were caught early!

How do you want to deliver?

An odd question for me because this is so personal and there are many things that are up to the woman and what she feels comfortable with. My answer to this is safely because no matter how much I may want something to go a certain way, I’m also very aware of the fact that things can go wrong, fast and intervention is needed. So long as both mom and baby are safe in the end I’m good with whatever happens!

Are you scared to deliver?

I’m surprisingly calm about this. I have, what we’ll call a very colorful medical history and unfortunately have a lot of experience with hospitals, doctors, pain, and surgery. I won’t get into the details of that, but I believe my history has prepared me greatly for what’s to come. It won’t be easy and will be incredibly difficult, but unlike my other health issues this pain has creative purpose, my body is designed to go through it, and it comes with something worthwhile in the end. So yes there’s a bit of anxiety because its something I’ve never been through before, but I know I’ll get through it somehow.

Will you still blog?

I’ll certainly try ! I know motherhood is one of life’s biggest adjustments and will blog as I like. This has always been a fun side project I enjoy so its something I would like to keep up with, albeit probably not religiously as I’ve been able to over the last few years.  

Do you have a name?

Yes we do ! It was very easy for us to decide actually and we’re keeping it a secret until we meet him 🙂

Favorite unexpected part of pregnancy?

The community of women that come to welcome you to this new experience. It’s like you join this incredible club and every mom wants to share all the tips and tricks they’ve learned. Nothing is secret, everything is open, and the goal is to help another woman out. I think its because I’ve been very open on social media but I have loved the community of mothers that have reached out to give words of advice, encouragement, and even just commiserate. This sense of community is the same that I experienced in the infertility world. Strangers willing to help and share their stories. It’s what’s so special about women I think. The caring and the communities we build for one another.

Do you like being pregnant ?

Overall I am shocked to say that (apart from this last month, I’m now very ready to done) I really love being pregnant. I always thought it’d be something I’d hate or that I’d feel so sick all the time. But my Babcia told me something that has stuck with me when I told her I was amazed at how good I felt. She said “why, pregnancy isn’t a disease. It’s life.” And I loved that. I just feel happy. Maybe its because I have this little life in me, maybe its because I feel so lucky. Whatever it is, I have enjoyed feeling so creative and womanly during this time. I’m going to miss it.

Photo Credits: Ania Photography

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