This year Ted and I are celebrating four years of marriage, and thirteen years together as a couple. We started dating at sixteen and over these years we’ve been through a lot! Good and bad – but at the end of the day we’re a rare breed of high school sweethearts that are still happily functioning.

When people find out we’re high school sweethearts people either think it’s really cute or that we’ve made some sort of terrible mistake. It’s so funny watching people’s reactions, and I understand where they’re coming from. So for this blog post I’m reflecting on our relationship and what’s worked for us! Some of I share may surprise you, so read on! 🙂

Also, I want to be clear that I am not recommending that everyone should marry the first person they’ve dated in high school. Meeting your future husband at 14 is not normal and actually pretty unusual. When you’re that young you have so much growing and learning about yourself to do. It’s normal to grow apart when you meet so young and in fact in most cases it’s probably best to move on. But for some reason, Ted and I found ourselves growing in the same direction (in the ways that mattered at least) and for us, it worked.

Time apart is a good thing

After high school Ted went away to college and I stayed at home commuting to school in the city. We saw each other once or twice a month. And even then I waitressed on the weekends so we would spend our nights doing our homework together. So romantic! During those university years we made our own friends, pursued opposite majors, and had completely different lifestyles. We even did our own traveling with me studying abroad in Krakow, and Ted traveling to Kenya. Quite frankly we were apart more than we were together.

And while the long distance was hard, I think it was the best thing for our relationship. We had time away from each other to figure out who we were, meet new people, and have new experiences. Over those four years we learned early on that a relationship takes a lot of work and every day you have to choose to be together.

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Opposites attract

Ted and I are very similar. We value the same things and till this day are still having “jinx” moments. But we’re also incredibly different. Ted’s a messy, math loving, calm and collected engineer. I’m a worry wort English major who loves to organize and plan things. He’s a lover of routine and I’m always planning the next adventure. He’s happy go lucky, while I’m full of emotion. His strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa.

Now this is not to say we don’t get on each other’s nerves. In fact our differences are why we bicker a lot of the time, but at the end of the day we accept one another. And in fact, we compliment the other. We always joke that if we were one person we’d be unbeatable. But that’s why we’re partners, we’re better together.

We get excited about the mundane things

I always say, you know you’ve found the one when you two could find entertainment in an empty room together. Doing the boring every day jobs like grocery shopping or riding the train to work is fun for Ted and me because we’re always making the other person laugh.

Our history makes us stronger

It would be easy to assume that because we’ve been together so long things aren’t fresh anymore or that Ted and I are bored of each other. But it’s actually our shared history that makes us stronger. We’ve grown up together, we’ve said it all to each other, we’ve traveled the world together, and we’ve watched the other at their best and worst. We know each other’s friends, families, and even medical histories haha. Through it all we still choose to stay because its our knowledge of each other that makes us a good partner.

We are by no means perfect and it might not be the norm, but for me, marrying my high school sweetheart was the best thing I ever did.